Hilarious Text Jokes

Yo mamma so fat when she sits around the house she rlly sits around the house!

A grasshopper walks into a bar.  The bartender asks him “did you know there is a drink named after you?” the grasshopper says “Why would you name a drink Jeff?”

What kind of bee gives milk?  BooBEES!!

What do u call a blonde with 2 brain cells?  Pregnant!

U so short u have to look up to look down.

Yo mamma so ugly wen she wz born, yr mum z, “What a booty!” n yr dad z, “Yea ltz go bury it”

DY knw h2 save a drowning lwyR? taK yr Ft off hs hed.

DdU heA bout d ldy hu gave brth 2 a blok of w%d?
dey sA she wz nailed by a carpenter!

w@ did d blonde’s ryt leg sA 2 d lft leg? Ø. They’ve nvr met.

hw mnE economists dz it taK 2 screw ina lyt bulb? nun. f d lyt bulb realy needed changiN, mkt forces wd av alrdy cauzd it 2 hpn.

A businessman gets on an vator alrdy busy? by a blond. She *grins* @ d guy n ina perky voiC sEz, “T.G.I.F!”.
d guy l%ks @ her n replies, “S.H.I.T.!”.
d blond’s  falters a bit as she digests d man’s response. thN she *grins* her Bgst, friendliest  n sEz, “T.G.I.F.!”.
agn dman responds by sAyn, “S.H.I.T.!”.
d wmn S oviusly quite ^set n asks d guy, “Don’t UNo dat T.G.I.F means Thank God Its Friday?”.
d guy sEz,”Yes I do, n S.H.I.T. means sry hon Its Thursday!”.

Yo mama so lamo she got locked ina grocery stoR n starvd!

Yo mama so lamo she got stabbed ina sh%t ot.

Yo mama so lamo she bawt a solar-powered flashlight!

Yo mama so lamo she finx a quarterback S a refund!

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A :*) man wz stumbling dwn d st W 1 Ft on d curb n 1 Ft n d gutter.

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It's important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack.

Balance Of Nature by major
Last nite i had a dream abt U.

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major

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