Funny New Year Text Messages


New Year Prayer
God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.
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Q. What are New Year’s resolutions

A. Things that go in one year and out the other.
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A couple invited some people to celebrate a New Year’s First Dinner. At the table, the wife turned to their six year old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?”

“I wouldn’t know what to say,” the girl replied.

“Just say what you hear Mommy say,” the wife answered.

The daughter bowed her head and said, “Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?”

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major

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