PinoyTextJokes http://www.pinoytextjokes.com daily source of funny and inspirational messages Fri, 30 Jan 2009 15:37:01 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6.5 en SMS Love Quotes http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/sms-love-quotes/ http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/sms-love-quotes/#comments Fri, 30 Jan 2009 15:37:01 +0000 major http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/?p=117 “You dnt lov a wmn coz shes btifl, bt shes btifl coz u lov her.”

“Love tAkz off masks dat we fear we cnot liv w/o n knw we cnot liv witn.”

An insincere n }-) pal S mor 2B feared thN a wyld beast; a wyld beast may wound yr bod, bt an }-) pal wl wound yr mind.

A kiss S alovely trick dsignD by nature 2 stop spEch wen wrds Bcum superfluous.

lyf w/o lov S lk a trE w/o blossoms or fruit.

Let yr lov B lk d misty rains, cmng softly, bt flooding d rivA.

w/o lov, d :-$$$ n poor liv n d same hous.

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]]> http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/sms-love-quotes/feed/ Rude Text Messages http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/rude-text-messages-2/ http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/rude-text-messages-2/#comments Wed, 28 Jan 2009 16:49:58 +0000 major http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/?p=115 Q: hw DY kip yr hubby frm readN yr Emsg?
A: Rename d mail folder 2 “instruction manuals”

Q: hws bn @ a singles bar diFrent frm goin to d circus?
A: @ d circus d clowns dnt tlk.

Q. Y? do women clse their Iyz durin sx?
A. dey cnt st& 2C a man av a gud tym.

I’m nt ofendd by ll d dum blonde jokes coz IK I’m nt dum… +I also knw dat I’m nt blonde.

Yo Mammas so f@, her cereal bowl came W a lifeguard.

Yo Mamma S so f@, her (_!_) l%ks lk 2 pigs fytin ovr a moo dud.

yF sEz 2 her hubby, ‘Give me sum csh coz I nd 2 gt a bra’,
hubby replies, ‘what wd u nd 2 do dat for… u avent got NEfin 2 put n it!’

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]]> http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/rude-text-messages-2/feed/ Dirty Text Messages http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/dirty-text-messages-2/ http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/dirty-text-messages-2/#comments Sun, 25 Jan 2009 20:35:55 +0000 major http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/?p=113 A guy wlks ^ 2 a gal ina bar n asks,
“Do u wn2 play mgic?”
“What’s dat?” she replies.
he continues, ”
You cum b2 my plce, av sx, thN DSapER.”

“Doctor, dr, I kip seein lil blk spots B4 my Iyz.”
“Have u seen a dr B4?”
“No, jst lil blk spots.”

Patient: I alw C spots B4 my Iyz.
Doc: Didn’t d nu glasses hlp?
Patient: Sure, now IC d spots mch clearer.

dis 65 y/o wmn S Nked, jumpN ^ n dwn on her bed laffin n singin. Her hubby wlks N2 d bdrm n sEz her. He watches her awhle thN sEz, “You l%k ridiculous, w@ on erth RU doiN?”
She sEz, “I jst got my check-up n my dr sEz Ive d tits of an eighteen-year-old.” She strts laffin n jumpN agn.
He sEz, “Yeah, ryt. n w@ did he sA bout yr 65 yo (_!_)?”
She sEz, “Well, yr nAm nvr came ^.”

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]]> http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/dirty-text-messages-2/feed/ Dirty Text Message Jokes http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/dirty-text-message-jokes-2/ http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/dirty-text-message-jokes-2/#comments Thu, 22 Jan 2009 18:20:43 +0000 major http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/?p=111 hw DY unload a truk ful of X-( babies?
A pitchfork!

waz pink n hrd?
A :@) W a knfe

A bear n a buny r sittN ina 4st takN a sht. d bear leans ovr 2 d buny n sEz “Do u evr av d prob of sht stickn 2 yr fur”? d buny sEz “No”. So d bear nabs d buny n wipes hs (_!_).

w@ do men lk d most bout blo jobs?
d 10 mins of silence

A farmer S lyN n bed W hs yF wen he trns 2 her nabs her tits n sEz:
“Honey f u cUd gt moo outa deez we cUd sell d cow”.
thN he nabs her fanny n sEz:
“Honey f u cUd gt eggs outa hre we cUd sell d chickens”.
She trns 2 him *grins*, nabs hs dik n sEz:
“Honey f u cUd gt dis ^ I cUd gt rid of yr brother”.

w@ dz an 8T y/o wmn taste lk?
Dpnds

dr Tom slept W 1of hs patients n felt gLty ll dy lng. No m@r hw mch he triD 2 4gt bout it, he couldn’t. d guilt n senZ of betrayal wz overwhelming. bt evry 1s ina yl he’d heA an Nternl, reassuring voiC dat z:
“Tom, don’t wori bout it. u Rnt d 1st dr 2 zzz W 1of their patients +U won’t B d lst. n you’re sngl. Let it go…”
bt invariably d oder voiC wd brng him b2 reality:
“Tom, you’re a vet…”

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]]> http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/dirty-text-message-jokes-2/feed/ Funniest Text Messages http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/funniest-text-messages-2/ http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/funniest-text-messages-2/#comments Mon, 19 Jan 2009 21:21:31 +0000 major http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/?p=109 A :*) man wz stumbling dwn d st W 1 Ft on d curb n 1 Ft n d gutter. A cop pulled ^ n z, “You r undR arrest 4 bn drunk”
dman askD, “Officer, r u sure I’m :*)?”
“Yup, I’m sure,” z d officer. “Lez go.”
breathn a sigh of relief, d :*) man z, “Thank god! I thort I wz crippled.”

Y? cnt blondes mke ice cubes?
coz dey alw 4gt d recipe

Conserve loo ppr, uz both sides.

A 5-o officer stopD a motorist hu wz speeding dwn Main st.
“But officer,” dman began, “I cn Xpln.”
“Just B shh,” snapped d officer. “I’m gunA let u QLk yr heels n jail ’til d chief gets bac.”
“But, officer, I jst wtd 2 sA,” “And I z 2 kip shh! ur gunA jail!”
A few hrs l8r d officer lOkd n on hs prisoner n z, “Lucky 4U dat d chief’s @ hs daughter’s weddin… He’ll B ina gud mood wen he gets bac.”
Don’t count on it,” ansD d fellow n d cell. “I’m d groom.”

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]]> http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/funniest-text-messages-2/feed/ Girl text message joke http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/girl-text-message-joke/ http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/girl-text-message-joke/#comments Fri, 16 Jan 2009 01:42:25 +0000 major http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/?p=98 A girl asked me to come over the other day.  She said nobody was home.   I went over and sure enough, nobody was home!

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]]> http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/girl-text-message-joke/feed/ Hilarious Text Jokes http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/hilarious-text-jokes/ http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/hilarious-text-jokes/#comments Wed, 14 Jan 2009 18:11:53 +0000 major http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/?p=107 Yo mamma so fat when she sits around the house she rlly sits around the house!

A grasshopper walks into a bar.  The bartender asks him “did you know there is a drink named after you?” the grasshopper says “Why would you name a drink Jeff?”

What kind of bee gives milk?  BooBEES!!

What do u call a blonde with 2 brain cells?  Pregnant!

U so short u have to look up to look down.

Yo mamma so ugly wen she wz born, yr mum z, “What a booty!” n yr dad z, “Yea ltz go bury it”

DY knw h2 save a drowning lwyR? taK yr Ft off hs hed.

DdU heA bout d ldy hu gave brth 2 a blok of w%d?
dey sA she wz nailed by a carpenter!

w@ did d blonde’s ryt leg sA 2 d lft leg? Ø. They’ve nvr met.

hw mnE economists dz it taK 2 screw ina lyt bulb? nun. f d lyt bulb realy needed changiN, mkt forces wd av alrdy cauzd it 2 hpn.

A businessman gets on an vator alrdy busy? by a blond. She *grins* @ d guy n ina perky voiC sEz, “T.G.I.F!”.
d guy l%ks @ her n replies, “S.H.I.T.!”.
d blond’s  falters a bit as she digests d man’s response. thN she *grins* her Bgst, friendliest  n sEz, “T.G.I.F.!”.
agn dman responds by sAyn, “S.H.I.T.!”.
d wmn S oviusly quite ^set n asks d guy, “Don’t UNo dat T.G.I.F means Thank God Its Friday?”.
d guy sEz,”Yes I do, n S.H.I.T. means sry hon Its Thursday!”.

Yo mama so lamo she got locked ina grocery stoR n starvd!

Yo mama so lamo she got stabbed ina sh%t ot.

Yo mama so lamo she bawt a solar-powered flashlight!

Yo mama so lamo she finx a quarterback S a refund!

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]]> http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/hilarious-text-jokes/feed/ Rude Text Jokes http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/rude-text-jokes/ http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/rude-text-jokes/#comments Mon, 05 Jan 2009 20:59:30 +0000 major http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/?p=105 Q: What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers?
A: One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year.

What do you call a 400 pound woman who likes both men and women?
A bisexual built for 2.

I wonder what fish smelled like before women went swimming?

Husband says; ‘You know when I’m gone you’ll never find another man link me.’
His wife replies; ‘What makes you think I’d want another man like you!’

Man stands up to get knocked down, woman lays down to get knocked up.

‘Waiter! This coffee tastes like mud.’ ‘Yes sir, it’s fresh ground.’

How about never? Is never good for you?

I don’t work here. I’m a consultant.

Love thy neighbor all through the day… but first make sure her husband’s away!

I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a darn.

Lesbians can also take Viagra. They don’t have to swallow it, they just let it melt in their tongues.

Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

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]]> http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/rude-text-jokes/feed/ Drinking text jokes http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/drinking-text-jokes/ http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/drinking-text-jokes/#comments Fri, 26 Dec 2008 01:40:57 +0000 major http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/?p=96 I am not drunk, I can lay on the floor without holding on!

Ocifer, I am not too drive to drunk!

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]]> http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/drinking-text-jokes/feed/ Girls text joke http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/girl-text-joke/ http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/girl-text-joke/#comments Thu, 18 Dec 2008 01:40:55 +0000 major http://www.pinoytextjokes.com/?p=94 The three wonders of a woman:

-give milk w/out eating grass

-get wet /out water

-bleed for a week w/out going 2 die

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