PinoyTextJokes

Erap And The Steward
Steward: Sir, are you done?
Erap: No, I’m Erap
Steward: I mean are you finished sir?
Erap: No, I’m a Filipino.
Steward: I mean are you through?
Erap: What do you think of me, false?

Erap At Starbucks
Erap: Waiter, isang kape nga!
Waiter: Sir, decaf ho ba?
Erap: Syempre! Bobo! Lahat ng kape, de cup!
Bakit, may nakaplato ba?!

Kangaroos (in a visit to Australia)
Reporter: Mr. President, how was your visit to Australia?
Erap: Well, it was nice. I saw many dangaroos.
Reporter: Sir, you mean, kangaroos?
Erap: No! Dangaroos! It was written:
“Beware, these animals are dangaroos(dangerous)!”

Monumento
Erap: Bakit itinayo ang rebulto ni Andres Bonifacio sa Monumento?
Cory: Siyempre, para magsilbing alaala sa kanya.
Erap: An’tanga mo talaga.
Cory: Bakit?
Erap: Siyempre, kapag inihiga, eh di makakabuhol-buhol ang trafik.

Erap At The Library
Erap looked at the librarian and said:
This is the most boring book I’ve ever read. It has no plot, yet so many characters.
Librarian: Excuse Sir, that is a telephone directory.

Ancient Plate Number
Jinggoy and Erap in a museum. (Jinggoy looking at a mummy)
Jinggoy: Dad, what’s the meaning of 1232 B.C.?
Erap: Anak, iyan ang plate number ng nakabangga sa kanya.

Ballet
Erap sees a ballet performance. He sees four dancers tiptoeing ang twirling.
Erap: Tanga rin ng choreographer no? Bat di nalang matangkad ang kinuha nila?