Dirty Text Message Jokes


Ur only mine wen i dream.wen i wake i wanna scream.ur not mine im all alone.i can only text u on my fone.do dreams lie or r dey true-i hope so cos babes i want u!

If dreams werent dreams & dreams came true i woodnt b here id b wiv u.Distance is 1 thing dat keeps us apart.But ull always remain in my heart!

Y do we close our eyes wen we sleep- wen we dream, wen we kiss?dis is becoz the most precious thing in the world is unseen.Wen i close my eyes i c u!

Them: Here’s 10p - go and tell your mum you’re not coming home
You: Here’s a pound - go and buy yourself some breath freshener

Them: I never forget a face
You: Neither do I but in your case I’ll make an exception

Haven’t I seen your face before - on a police poster?

A smile is a curve that can.Straighten out a lot of things.

life is short! if you dont look around once in a while you might miss it

Those who are afraid to fall, will never fly

i heard someone whisper ur name, but when i turned around to c who it was, i notice i was alone, then i realize it was my heart telling me that i miss u.

4getn u is hard 2 do, 4gtn me is up2 u, 4gt me not, 4gt me neva, but don’t 4get, we’re gr8 2gether

I’m not as dumb as you look.

Elvis is dead and I don’t feel so good myself.

How do frogs die? They Kermit suicide.

It’s important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack. It’s also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!

A man can kiss his wife goodbye. A flower can kiss a butterfly.Wine can kiss a frosted glass.But u my friend can kiss my ass!

i tried to call you from a payphone last night. i put my doner card in by mistake, it cost me an arm and a leg!

A teacher ask”wot part of the body goes to heaven first?”A child replies”feet- coz every nite i c my mum with her feet in the air screamin GOD I’M COMIN!

Put your crash helmet on, you’re going through the head board.

Do you believe in love at first sight…or do I have to walk by again?

There’s a gap in your life! Mind if I fill it!

girls are like phones. we like to be held and talked too- but if u press the wrong button u’ll be disconnected! Put your crash helmet on, you’re going through the head board.

Do you believe in love at first sight…or do I have to walk by again?

There’s a gap in your life! Mind if I fill it!

I’m not Fred Flintstone but i can make your bedrock!

Wanna play Pearl Harbor? That’s where I lay down and you blow the hell out of me

My eyes R hurting coz I can’t C U, My arms R empty coz I can’t hold U, My lips R cold coz I can’t kiss U but, My heart is breaking coz I’m not with U!

Jelly Baby goes 2 the Dr & says “Dr i’ve got aids” Dr replys “U cant have aids ur a jelly Baby” Jelly Baby says “yes but Dr i’ve been sleepin wiv ALLSORTS!

chicken and egg in bed,chicken has head on pillow smoking.Egg rolls over annoyed saying”i guess we answered that question”

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major

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