Dirty Text Message Jokes


hw DY unload a truk ful of X-( babies?
A pitchfork!

waz pink n hrd?
A :@) W a knfe

A bear n a buny r sittN ina 4st takN a sht. d bear leans ovr 2 d buny n sEz “Do u evr av d prob of sht stickn 2 yr fur”? d buny sEz “No”. So d bear nabs d buny n wipes hs (_!_).

w@ do men lk d most bout blo jobs?
d 10 mins of silence

A farmer S lyN n bed W hs yF wen he trns 2 her nabs her tits n sEz:
“Honey f u cUd gt moo outa deez we cUd sell d cow”.
thN he nabs her fanny n sEz:
“Honey f u cUd gt eggs outa hre we cUd sell d chickens”.
She trns 2 him *grins*, nabs hs dik n sEz:
“Honey f u cUd gt dis ^ I cUd gt rid of yr brother”.

w@ dz an 8T y/o wmn taste lk?
Dpnds

dr Tom slept W 1of hs patients n felt gLty ll dy lng. No m@r hw mch he triD 2 4gt bout it, he couldn’t. d guilt n senZ of betrayal wz overwhelming. bt evry 1s ina yl he’d heA an Nternl, reassuring voiC dat z:
“Tom, don’t wori bout it. u Rnt d 1st dr 2 zzz W 1of their patients +U won’t B d lst. n you’re sngl. Let it go…”
bt invariably d oder voiC wd brng him b2 reality:
“Tom, you’re a vet…”

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The three wonders of a woman: -give milk w/out eating grass -get wet /out water -bleed for a week w/out going 2 die.

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A :*) man wz stumbling dwn d st W 1 Ft on d curb n 1 Ft n d gutter.

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Yo mamma so fat when she sits around the house she rlly sits around the house! A grasshopper walks into a bar.

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major

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