PinoyTextJokes

Yo mamma so fat when she sits around the house she rlly sits around the house!

A grasshopper walks into a bar.  The bartender asks him “did you know there is a drink named after you?” the grasshopper says “Why would you name a drink Jeff?”

What kind of bee gives milk?  BooBEES!!

What do u call a blonde with 2 brain cells?  Pregnant!

U so short u have to look up to look down.

Yo mamma so ugly wen she wz born, yr mum z, “What a booty!” n yr dad z, “Yea ltz go bury it”

Q: What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers?
A: One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year.

What do you call a 400 pound woman who likes both men and women?
A bisexual built for 2.

I wonder what fish smelled like before women went swimming?

Husband says; ‘You know when I’m gone you’ll never find another man link me.’
His wife replies; ‘What makes you think I’d want another man like you!’

Man stands up to get knocked down, woman lays down to get knocked up.

I am not drunk, I can lay on the floor without holding on!

Ocifer, I am not too drive to drunk!

Tags: funny text messages, rude text messages, funny text messages, love text messages, hilarious text messages, text messages, dirty text messages, sms, text quotes, dirty sms messages

The three wonders of a woman:

-give milk w/out eating grass

-get wet /out water

-bleed for a week w/out going 2 die

Tags: rude text messages, dirty sms messages, funny text messages, dirty text messages, hilarious text messages, text quotes, funny text messages, love text messages, text messages, sms jokes

Ur only mine wen i dream.wen i wake i wanna scream.ur not mine im all alone.i can only text u on my fone.do dreams lie or r dey true-i hope so cos babes i want u!

If dreams werent dreams & dreams came true i woodnt b here id b wiv u.Distance is 1 thing dat keeps us apart.But ull always remain in my heart!

Y do we close our eyes wen we sleep- wen we dream, wen we kiss?dis is becoz the most precious thing in the world is unseen.Wen i close my eyes i c u!