Dirty Text Messages
A guy wlks ^ 2 a gal ina bar n asks,
“Do u wn2 play mgic?”
“What’s dat?” she replies.
he continues, ”
You cum b2 my plce, av sx, thN DSapER.”
“Doctor, dr, I kip seein lil blk spots B4 my Iyz.”
“Have u seen a dr B4?”
“No, jst lil blk spots.”
Patient: I alw C spots B4 my Iyz.
Doc: Didn’t d nu glasses hlp?
Patient: Sure, now IC d spots mch clearer.
Drinking text jokes
I am not drunk, I can lay on the floor without holding on!
Ocifer, I am not too drive to drunk!
Tags: funny text messages, funny text messages, text quotes, sms, dirty sms messages, rude text messages, text messages, hilarious text messages, dirty text messages, love text messages
Funniest Text Messages
Hello, this is Death. Please answer when you’re ready.
I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Sorry, I cannot make it because there is a power failure. I am stuck on the escalator.
Tonight there will be an ice cream party. All ladies giving milk please come early.
Sorry I am late, I couldn’t find the remote control to the remote control.
Sorry, I am having an out of money experience.
Santa Is A Man
Santa Claus could never have been a woman!
Who else but a man would:
Be really generous once a year,
Be totally uninvolved the other 11 months,
(And 29 days, we’ll give him Christmas Eve & Day),
And yet think he was a saint?
One more reason Santa has to be a man:
No woman is going to wear the same outfit, year after year.
