Rude Text Messages
Q: hw DY kip yr hubby frm readN yr Emsg?
A: Rename d mail folder 2 “instruction manuals”
Q: hws bn @ a singles bar diFrent frm goin to d circus?
A: @ d circus d clowns dnt tlk.
Q. Y? do women clse their Iyz durin sx?
A. dey cnt st& 2C a man av a gud tym.
I’m nt ofendd by ll d dum blonde jokes coz IK I’m nt dum… +I also knw dat I’m nt blonde.
Yo Mammas so f@, her cereal bowl came W a lifeguard.
Dirty Text Messages
A guy wlks ^ 2 a gal ina bar n asks,
“Do u wn2 play mgic?”
“What’s dat?” she replies.
he continues, ”
You cum b2 my plce, av sx, thN DSapER.”
“Doctor, dr, I kip seein lil blk spots B4 my Iyz.”
“Have u seen a dr B4?”
“No, jst lil blk spots.”
Patient: I alw C spots B4 my Iyz.
Doc: Didn’t d nu glasses hlp?
Patient: Sure, now IC d spots mch clearer.
Dirty Text Message Jokes
hw DY unload a truk ful of X-( babies?
A pitchfork!
waz pink n hrd?
A :@) W a knfe
A bear n a buny r sittN ina 4st takN a sht. d bear leans ovr 2 d buny n sEz “Do u evr av d prob of sht stickn 2 yr fur”? d buny sEz “No”. So d bear nabs d buny n wipes hs (_!_).
w@ do men lk d most bout blo jobs?
d 10 mins of silence
Funniest Text Messages
A :*) man wz stumbling dwn d st W 1 Ft on d curb n 1 Ft n d gutter. A cop pulled ^ n z, “You r undR arrest 4 bn drunk”
dman askD, “Officer, r u sure I’m :*)?”
“Yup, I’m sure,” z d officer. “Lez go.”
breathn a sigh of relief, d :*) man z, “Thank god! I thort I wz crippled.”
Y? cnt blondes mke ice cubes?
coz dey alw 4gt d recipe
Conserve loo ppr, uz both sides.
Hilarious Text Jokes
Yo mamma so fat when she sits around the house she rlly sits around the house!
A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender asks him “did you know there is a drink named after you?” the grasshopper says “Why would you name a drink Jeff?”
What kind of bee gives milk? BooBEES!!
What do u call a blonde with 2 brain cells? Pregnant!
U so short u have to look up to look down.
Yo mamma so ugly wen she wz born, yr mum z, “What a booty!” n yr dad z, “Yea ltz go bury it”
