major
Be Featured. Publish your funny and inspirational text messages.
Send them to PinoyTextJokes (@t) noonanco.com! Be Featured. Publish your funny and inspirational text messages.
Send them to PinoyTextJokes (@t) noonanco.com! Funny New Year Text Messages
New Year Prayer
God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,
And the eyesight to tell the difference.
——————————————-
Q. What are New Year’s resolutions
A. Things that go in one year and out the other.
——————————————-
A couple invited some people to celebrate a New Year’s First Dinner. At the table, the wife turned to their six year old daughter and said, “Would you like to say the blessing?”
“I wouldn’t know what to say,” the girl replied.
Santa Is A Man
Santa Claus could never have been a woman!
Who else but a man would:
Be really generous once a year,
Be totally uninvolved the other 11 months,
(And 29 days, we’ll give him Christmas Eve & Day),
And yet think he was a saint?
One more reason Santa has to be a man:
No woman is going to wear the same outfit, year after year.
Christmas Jokes - Question And Answers
Q: What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A: Frostbite.
Q: Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?
A: Because he had low elf esteem.
Q: Why does Santa have 3 gardens?
A: So he can ho-ho-ho.
Q: Where do polar bears vote?
A: The North Poll.
Q: What do you get when you cross an archer with a gift-wrapper?
A: Ribbon hood.
Q: Why do birds fly south for the winter ?
A: Because it’s to far to walk.
Halloween Jokes
Q. What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!
Q. What is a Mummie’s favorite type of music? A. Wrap!!!!!
Q. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? A. Because demons are a ghouls best friend!
Q. What’s a monster’s favorite bean? A. A human bean.
Q. Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
Q. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A. A sand-witch.
Q. Where does a ghost go on Saturday night? A. Anywhere where he can boo-gie.
Just Pure Text Jokes
It’s important to find a man who has money, a man who adores you,a man who is great in the sack.
It’s also imprtant that these 3 men should never meet!
I’ve been arrested for bein the ugliest person in Britain,
can u cum down the police station and show them it’s a mistake?
Clouds r white but the sky is blue,monkey like u should b kept in the zoo,
dont get angry ull find me there too,not in the cage but laughing at u. ha! ha! ha
