PinoyTextJokes

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A girl asked me to come over the other day.  She said nobody was home.   I went over and sure enough, nobody was home!

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Yo mamma so fat when she sits around the house she rlly sits around the house!

A grasshopper walks into a bar.  The bartender asks him “did you know there is a drink named after you?” the grasshopper says “Why would you name a drink Jeff?”

What kind of bee gives milk?  BooBEES!!

What do u call a blonde with 2 brain cells?  Pregnant!

U so short u have to look up to look down.

Yo mamma so ugly wen she wz born, yr mum z, “What a booty!” n yr dad z, “Yea ltz go bury it”

Q: What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers?
A: One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year.

What do you call a 400 pound woman who likes both men and women?
A bisexual built for 2.

I wonder what fish smelled like before women went swimming?

Husband says; ‘You know when I’m gone you’ll never find another man link me.’
His wife replies; ‘What makes you think I’d want another man like you!’

Man stands up to get knocked down, woman lays down to get knocked up.

I am not drunk, I can lay on the floor without holding on!

Ocifer, I am not too drive to drunk!

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The three wonders of a woman:

-give milk w/out eating grass

-get wet /out water

-bleed for a week w/out going 2 die

Tags: text messages, love text messages, funny text messages, hilarious text messages, dirty sms messages, sms jokes, rude text messages, dirty text messages, text quotes, funny text messages