PinoyTextJokes

You know what they say about life beginning at 40?
Well, they’re lying!

I’ll be 40 soon, and I was going to title my party- “Nearer to Death than Birth”!
It’s got a nice ring to it ,don’t you think ?

Save all hairs that come loose when you brush your hair – one day medical science may develop a means of replanting them.

Look twenty years younger in an instant – borrow a baby and train it to call you ‘mummy’.

Buy a computer, digital camera and a MP3 player. Although you’re incapable of understanding how to use them at least you’ll appear trendy.

Take the strain off your tired out memory by labelling all household objects – bed, fridge, television etc.

Should you ever get the urge to go ‘all night clubing’ apply the simple rule – forget it!!

Never attempt bending down, except under strict medical supervision.

Develop the power of a photographic memory – take photographs of everyone you need to remember.

Use your ailing health to blackmail your children into doing all your gardening and housework.

Keep a diary – it will be a great source of comfort and a handy reminder of what you did yesterday.

Avoid the company of young people they are a sad reminder of your long lost youth.

Cultivate friendships with people much older than yourself. This will make you feel so much younger.

Finding your false teeth can be difficult when you mislay your spectacles. Always keep these vital items attached to you by pieces of string.

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